In an act of mild desperation, Mr Brackenbury has begun a campaign to get someone - anyone - to volunteer at the Home. So far, nearby residents have been wary. But he's sending flyers further and further away to encourage those who don't quite know how crazy it is in the Home to stop by and help out.

In a move inspired by somewhat misplaced optimism, the Home is organising a cribbage tournament. Perhaps this time it won't end in tears (mainly Mr Brackenbury's).